Alive But Dead: The Jason Todd Story
by ConnorFilm
Summary: Jason Tood has been through alot. Takes place a few days after the finale of the Animated film "Under The Red Hood" STORY COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1 JASON

Set no more than a few days after the events of animated film "Under The Red Hood"

* * *

"Alive...he murders me and he leaves him ALIVE TO HURT...KILL AND MAIM...TO ROB PEOPLE OF THEIR FRIENDS AND FAMILY...MOTHERS AND FATHERS...SONS."

This is all Jason can think of as he stands on the rooftop overlooking the desolate rubble that once stood a building, a building where the mentor confronted the master. Where the son fought the father. Jason turns away, still with a slight limp , after all no one leaves an explosion unharmed.

"If only it was like the movies" he sarcastically thought. It had been a few days since The Bat and him had their well ...family meeting moment. He laughed to himself bitterly.

Deep down he knew what Bruce was saying, that if he had let his anger get to him, if he had murdered The Joker he would be no better , and he would never stop. In a way he felt like the other side of Bruce, he felt like the vigilante Bruce could of became if he had let the anger and pain control and overtake him. But sometimes anger is good and sometimes revenge is the only thing that keeps a person going.

Right now Jason would cut off a leg or arm just to be able to have a redo , a reboot. In the end all of his actions were because of Bruce, he almost wanted to impress his surrogate father.

"Look batboy this is what you could never do."

There is a fine line between good and evil and Jason certainly felt the effects. The sleepless nights, the nightmares, but he would always numb the pain with a good nice bottle of jack. Jason climbed down the side of the building , landing on the wet ground. He heard a scream of help in the distance and followed it. "Lets take my mind off of things" he thought. He ran to the sound and saw a woman getting robbed.

Jason was not in the mood for sarcastic one liners so he simply went up the fellow and well put simply beat the living hell out of him. The woman ran off and he turned yelling "YOUR WELCOME BY THE WAY".

BIG MISTAKE.

The attacker took the moment and stabbed jason in the chest and quickly ran off.

Jason fell to the ground in a heap gasping for air. "Really?'', he thought.

He tried to regulate his breathing but it was no use, usually he would of been okay , he would of gone back to his dinky appartment and opperate on himself, but still weak after the explosion Jason simply put did not have the willpower to continue, to get up and fight. "Get on your feet soldier" he imagined Bruce say. He sighed heavily and realized he was going to die and yet he did not care. He just wanted to rest, he was so very tired. He started to close his eyes and at the last second he saw a black shadowy figure drop to the ground near him and saw the figure had bat ears

"GREAT", Jason thought.

* * *

First line taken from Judd Winick's _RED HOOD: THE LOST DAYS_


	2. Chapter 2 BRUCE

Bruce was still reeling from the events that happened just a few short days earlier. The man he confronted and fought. That man was not his apprentice, was not his friend, was not his son, his Jason. That man was dark, so dark and cold and empty. Bruce wasn't entirely shocked he thought, you have to have some sort of emotional damage from coming back from the dead.

Bruce sighed and started to think about the funeral, about how empty and cold he felt holding Jason's cold limp body in his hands. That was the first time in a long time Bruce had cried and he didn't cry a lot. Bruce swore he hadn't cried that hard since his parents were murdered horrifically in front of him. He had failed his friend, his son. The two had a very complicated relationship; Jason had always been a pistol, sometimes taking the rebellious teen phase to another level.

It wasn't all Jason's fault though. Jason had a troubled childhood to say the least. Living and growing up in the corrupt streets of Gotham. That was something Bruce always thought about. What things Jason must have seen and done just to survive. Jason had told him a thing every now and then but never opened up. "My fault" he thought, "I always was so cold and demanding to him, more like a drill instructor than a father", why would he ever of opened up to me"

In some ways Bruce had failed Jason more than just not saving him from the hands of Joker, he had failed as a father as well.

Bruce sighed and walked over to the case he always looked at. Jason had always been on his mind since that day some 5 years ago. What Joker did to that poor 15 year old would forever haunt him.

He looked at the outfit Alfred and he had pulled off Jason's lifeless body. Alfred did a fantastic job repairing the suit.

Bruce had denied Alfred's request to take down the suit. Nothing had changed to Bruce. Quite bluntly after he had confronted Jason, he realized that his boy, his son was still dead, that boy died 5 years ago and wasn't coming back. That boy was replaced with a murderous and revenge-filled vigilante.

Bruce sped out of the cave; he needed to take his mind off of this. He wondered though driving down the road if Jason was even alive. Bruce searched through the rubble after The Joker was returned to Arkham. It took everything in his soul not to break that clown's head into the pavement. There had not been a single day since Jason's demise that Bruce had not thought of killing that murderous freak. No body was found and Bruce knew that Jason was likely alive. A body would have been in or around the vicinity.

Bruce parked the car and went up onto a building and surveyed the city, it would be nice to take a simple street thug out tonight. There had not been a lot of those in quite a while. Batman had struck fear into the common thugs but Batman had also brought out the freaks and psychotic murderers.

Bruce heard a shriek nearby and shot his grapple gun and swung off the building. He landed on a nearby building and saw a woman getting robbed, before he could intervene he saw him. RED HOOD.

He sees Jason beat the mug up, wondering if Jason will go too far, he won't know , the thief stabs Jason while he looks away and runs off

"Never look away from your opponent" he always told the boy.

Jason slumped onto the ground. Bruce was in panic mode. "Save and help the boy?" "But Bruce he isn't your boy anymore, he's a killer, let him die" "I can't" he whispers to himself.

Bruce lands on the ground near Jason and walks towards him. He hears Jason mutter "Great" and then nothing.

"JASON?!"

Bruce runs to the bo-man. Jason had to be around 20ish. Bruce checked his pulse.

ALIVE

Barley though, he examined the wound, Jason had pulled out the blade, it wasn't horrific , Bruce had seen worse, but it was still bad and the boy was losing blood fast. Bruce gently picked the boy up and started carrying him to the Batmoblie. "Why was he still in Gotham"? Bruce thought. He reached his destination and put Jason into the passenger seat and started the engine.

They Sped off.


	3. AUTHOR'S NOTE

FYI

I know what Jason looked unmasked in UNDER THE RED HOOD but i always imagined Todd with a bit longer hair and while he was sarcastic in UTRH he's going to be a bit more sarcastic in this story

i always imagined adult jason looking like he did in some of the comics

with a bit longer shaggier hair

Quite frankly it varies, sometimes he had spiked/short-ish hair and other times he had shaggy-ish hair.

but it's all up to the reader to be honest on what Todd looks like :D

Also this story is in my eyes trying to prove that Jason while being a major cold heartless D-Bag still has that kid inside of him before Joker Killed him

also next chapter coming up soon and then im going to wait awhile and see how the story is received

I hope your enjoying


	4. Chapter 3 CONFRONTATION

Lavender?

Jason awoke to the smell of Lavender and musky old books.

He opened his eyes and everything was a blurry mess. He blinked several times before clarity came to his tired eyes. He had been in this room before. He looked around.

DEAR GOD

Jason Todd was in his old room at Wayne Manor. He saw his bookshelf, still filled with all his favorite things. The wallpaper, the furniture, everything was exactly the same. Like he had been here just yesterday, but he had not been in this room for 5 years. He examined his body, bandages and gauze covering his upper chest as well as bandages on cuts from the explosion that happened a few days earlier.

Jason ran his hands through his thick long-ish hair, Jason turned to the mirror in front of his old bed. "God, major Deja Vu going on here" he thought. He looked decent he thought for a guy who survived an explosion and a knife to the chest in the past week. He started to realize he was in Bruce's castle once again, (he had always referred to it as a castle) and it hit him. "Why the hell did the man I fought, shot at, save me"? Bruce could have left him to die in that alley, but he didn't. This was all too much, he slowly got out of the bed and made it to the door and collapsed like a ton of bricks, he was wheezing. "Jesus did that knife hit a lung" he asked himself out loud.

The door opened and Jason looked up to see Alfred.

"Trying to go somewhere Master Jason"? The Butler asked.

"Jesus this guy is still formal as ever" Jason thought.

"Uhh, hey AL, it's been awhile hasn't it."

"Quite sir, it's good to hear that voice again, although it's gotten deeper."

Jason just kept looking at the butler, it had been so long , he wondered if Alfred still cared for him , did Bruce tell Alfred what happened , how exactly he'd come back from the dead?

''Thanks Alfred, it is good to hear yours as well."

''God, this is awkward' 'he thought, ''If I could just stand for more than a few seconds I'd be outta here"

"It's not everyday someone comes back from the dead Master Jason."

Alfred helps the man up and into the bed, Jason sees his Red Hood mask on the table beside the bed.

"I'm quite disappointed in you Jason, Master Wayne has been telling me things you've done."

"HERE WE GO LECTURE FROM MOTHERHEN" Jason sarcastically thought.

"Aww, so the big guy does talk about me."

''What happened to you Master Jason."

"Nothing happened Alfred; I simply realized who I truly am."

Before Alfred could say another word HE Appeared in the doorway of the room.

Jason started thinking about the other night.

''Hard to forget that night, huh? In a way, Batman, this was the site of your first great failure. Maybe you're greatest, but certainly not your last, right? Ah, memories.''

''Yes. You can't stop crime. That's what you never understood. I'm controlling it. You wanna control crime by fear. But what do you do with the ones who aren't afraid? I'm doing what you won't, I'm taking them out.''

''Tell me what happened to you Jason, let me help.''

''It's too late. You had your chance, and I'm just getting started.''

Jason could admit, he was a dick to Bruce, but he was angry, so angry at everyone, he understood Bruce's moral code, but it did not matter, his moral code was weak and it did not get the job done.

''Alfred leave."

These words brought Jason out of his mind and back to his current situation.

Alfred nodded and left the room not looking back once.

Bruce and Jason stared at each other. Just stared for what seemed like hours. Finally Jason broke the thick awkward silence.

''Why? Why'd You Save Me."

The reply Jason got was cold.

''If i had let you die Jason, it would of gone against my moral code, if we'd gone by your code you would be dead now wouldn't you."

Ouch.

''Maybe I wanted to be left there to die, after all I'm a murderer right , you think I'm no better than Joker , or Riddler , or Ivy right? Just because i get the job done in a way you think is unfit does not mean it's wrong."

''Jason saying your way of dealing with crime is unfit, is an understatement. Like I said you're becoming a Crime Lord."

''I'm doing what you couldn't Wayne'' At this point Jason was yelling.

''You want to control crime by fear. But what do you do Bruce, with the ones who aren't afraid? I'm doing what you won't, I'm taking them out. I'm doing what needs to be done."

''What you are doing is not the right way Jason!'' What happened to you, you always had a dark side to you but so does everyone, this-this is not you... Jason, what happened?"

''I started thinking clearly for the first time in years Bruce, you should try it."

Bruce stared at Jason.

''I examined your blood, your testosterone levels are high, high for even a twenty year old." "There were also some normalites in your blood."

Jason just looked at Bruce.

''Coming back from the dead will do that."

''No Jason, it was the pit, the Lazarus pit changed you, made you more aggressive, it amplified your angry and-"

''Or maybe it just brought out what I truly have always been Bruce."

''Jason listen to me , Ra helped your rebirth but I know , I know he knew what it would do to you Jason , let me help you please , this isn't the Jason I took under my wing, this isn't the son I know'' Bruce whispered the last part.

Jason looked up.

'Your son? I was never your son Bruce, and you never truly knew me, you are weak and I'm doing what is necessary."

Jason instantly regretted what he said; he could see the pain in Bruce's face.

He started to get up and gather his mask.

''Sit down'' Bruce said.

Jason's response? It was simple.

''NO''

''I SAID SIT DOWN'' Bruce yelled.

Jason sat down; damn the old man could still scare him with that voice.

Bruce walked towards Jason, the closest they have been in 5 years.

''I do not care if you hate me , I do not care what you think , you are staying here , at least until you're recovered , I assume you didn't know aside from the cuts , broken ribs and the knife wound you had internal bleeding from the explosion."

Jason said nothing.

''I'm helping you, I don't care if you like it or not'' Bruce hissed at Jason.

''WHY, WHY HELP ME RECOVER HUH? I'M JUST GOING TO GO BACK OUT THERE AND START DOING THINGS MY WAY...KILLING PEOPLE...I DON'T NEED YOU OR YOU'RE HELP."

Jason pushed Bruce and walked to the door and was walking out when-

''When I saw you in that rubble cut up, bruised, broken, dead-"

Jason stopped walking and turned to Bruce.

''When I held your cold limp body...it was the ultimate failure of my life, I had lost a friend, an apprentice, most importantly I lost a son that day."

Tears started to run down Bruce's face.

Jason was speechless; he had never seen the old man cry ever.

Tears formed in Jason's eyes as Bruce continued.

''The Funeral was nice , Alfred had cleaned you up well, you smelled like the soap you always used , you were in a nice suit, your hair combed, I had postponed the service a few times , I couldn't take the thought of burying you. But we did, we finally held it, me, Alfred, Dick, Barbara, we were all there. Everyone was crying , I wasn't , I couldn't , not because I had to be strong, but because I physically couldn't, I had spilled all the tears I could, I was spent, numb. It went by so fast, I was not mentally there. Everyone left and it was me and you. Held you one last time and then put you in the coffin and that was that."

Jason had tears streaming down his face, as did Bruce.

''Not a day goes by when I don't think about you or all the mindless possibilities of how I could have gotten to you sooner and saved you. I'm sorry Jason, I'm sorry I failed you as a father, I'm sorry I failed at saving you, this all of this is my fault."

''Let me help you son."

Jason tried so hard but he could not stop the tears from flowing, this was all too much at once. He turned away from Bruce.

Jason started shaking and stumbled out into the hallway and was stumbling around, his mind was a mess, he honestly forgot he could feel. He hadn't felt anything but anger and revenge in such a long time.

All Jason knew was he had to get out of here, had to clear his head and think. He could really use a cigarette. He stumbled to the stairs, tears still flowing, and tried to walk down the staircase but failed miserably. He fell on his chest right on his broken ribs and knife wound, he gasped for air, and wanted to scream but could not. Everything started to get blurry, before he passed out he felt strong arms pick him up and he was being carried to his room.

Before he passed out from pain and exhaustion Jason muttered

''I'm Sorry."


	5. Chapter 4 IN MEMORY OF JASON TODD

Bruce carried Jason back to his room, being careful laying him down. He checked to make sure Jason had not reopened any wounds and then pulled the covers over the young man. He closed the door walking down the stairs to the familiar room, hitting the familiar three notes on the piano, seeing the familiar door open, riding down the familiar elevator, arriving in the familiar dark cave. He sat down, turning on the computer. He thought about Jason, about how cold and unfeeling the boy had become. Bruce wondered if the darkness he had seen recently in Jason was always there or if it was just his personality and feelings changed and amplified by the Lazarus pit. He knew that Jason had forgiven Bruce about not saving him, not getting to him in time. But Jason he feared would never forgive, nor would he ever understand why Bruce never killed Joker.

Like Bruce said, it would have been too easy, too easy to let the anger, pain, and revenge take control of him. That is exactly what happened to Jason, he had let the anger, pain, revenge all bubble inside until it had to be let out. Jason focused all his time on anger and revenge, let it cloud his judgment. The great and powerful Batman felt powerless. What if it was just too late to save his apprentice? What if the moment Jason killed for the very first time was the moment that it was too late for anyone to do anything. Bruce slides his hands through his hair and shook those feelings away. It couldn't be too late, he had to fix this, and it was his mess to begin with. He saw something tonight in Jason he hadn't seen in the boy since before he was resurrected. Bruce saw a slight glimmer of hope; he had seen feelings, tears, things aside from anger and revenge on the boy's face. He had seen how upset and sad Jason had gotten when Bruce talked about the funeral, about when Bruce held his cold body in his arms. There was hope, somewhere in that cold heartless shell Jason still had compassion, it just needed to be let out.

Bruce noticed the computer was on and pulled up Jason's blood results again. He re-read the results; it was obvious that his high levels of testosterone were the cause of his amplified aggression. But Bruce couldn't pinpoint exactly what the normalities were in Jason's blood. He needed to take another sample of blood from Jason, and he reluctantly realized he also needed to see Ghul. Ghul knew the pit, knew better than anyone what it could do and what effects it can have. This also meant he would run into Talia again.

''GREAT'' Bruce muttered to himself.

Alfred entered the cave, carrying a tray of tea and food. Bruce was not hungry; food was the last thing on his mind right now. He had bigger things to focus on.

''Alfred i really have more important things th-''

''Save it Master Wayne, you are taking a break, having some food, and then i suggest you go and take a nap''

''Alfred i need to focus on Jason right now, i don't have time to ea-''

''How are you going to help the boy if you aren't at your full potential sir?''

Bruce sighed, it was useless to argue with his old friend and he knew Alfred was right, he was so tired. ''Alright fine.''

* * *

4:15 am

That's what Jason saw on the digital alarm clock when he awoke. He looked around and slowly and gently got up and creped out of the door to his room. He didn't want a repeat of earlier. Hearing nothing he gingerly walked to the stairs and started going down it. He looked around the huge castle, nothing had changed, the mansion still had that old familiar smell , the old outdated wallpaper , time stood still here. Jason walked to the room with the old grand piano and hit those three notes; he turned and waited for the secret door to open. His head was still swirling from earlier.

''God, i could really use a cigarette right now ... or 5'' Jason thought to himself. Those things always calmed him down and let him unwind... well that and a nice bottle of jack.

When Jason stepped out of the elevator he couldn't believe he was back here. The Batcave. The cave where a chunk of his life was spent suiting up, battling the bad guys, fighting crime as the boy wonder. He remembered his first day as Robin, how he declared it was the best day of his life. Jason chuckled bitterly ''how naive i was''. There was nothing but the sound of the humming of lights turning on. Jason surveyed the cave slowly walking around; nothing had really changed, other than a few new gadgets here and there. He turned his head to the left and that's when he saw it. The glass case.

Jason timidly approached the case; it was roughly six feet tall, circular in shape. He saw his suit, all cleaned up , all repaired. He couldn't believe it, his face was full of shock, Bruce had kept it and everything. Jason surveyed the entire costume, up and down and then saw the plaque. It read '' In Memory Of Jason Todd, Robin, A Good Soldier''

He couldn't stop the tears forming in his eyes, the old man kept it up here like a daily reminder of his failure to Jason. His knees felt weak and he collapsed against the case, he wanted to sob so bad but he couldn't. He felt numb and overwhelmed. He heard the doors to the elevator open and saw Bruce walk into the cave. He saw Jason slumped against the case...HIS Case.

''Jay''? Bruce's voice was surprisingly emotional and kind.

''God'', Jason thought closing his eyes, ''I haven't heard that nickname in forever.'' Jason tried to reply but nothing came out and then the tears started flowing and he couldn't stop, his whole body started shaking and Jason put his face in his hands. ''Way to be a pussy Jason'', he gritted in his mind.

Bruce must have walked over because he suddenly felt arms wrap around his shoulders and pull him into Bruce's embrace. He wanted to pull away, wanted to just get up and run away, but he couldn't, he needed this. Jason let it out, let it all out. The anguish, the hurt, the misery, the pain, everything that happened in the last five years was being let out.

''I'm sorry Jay , I'm so so sorry''

Jason just responded by pulling tighter into the hug Bruce had him in.

''I don't know who i am anymore Bruce'', Jason whispered.

Bruce said nothing, just let the young man sob into his chest, Bruce held on tight.

Bruce Wayne and Jason Todd sat like that for an hour, slumped against the case. They said nothing.


	6. Chapter 5 CIGARETTES

Bruce and Jason both went to bed after leaving the cave, or at least they tried to fall asleep. Bruce after sitting in his bed staring at the ceiling decided around 8am to get up. He needed coffee, badly.

Bruce walked into the kitchen searching for coffee. Good old Alfred had already made a pot.

"How'd you sleep Master Wayne?""

Bruce just stared at the butler.

"I see...sir, would you mind I see if Master Jason would care for breakfast?"

Bruce shrugged, "you can see if he's up Alfred."

Alfred nodded, and walked out of the kitchen. Bruce sighed and downed the cup of straight, black, strong coffee. He walked over to the dining table and picked up the newspaper and started reading. Red hood and The Joker's mess were still being talked about in the paper. Bruce went to the stock section, he needed to read something else. Alfred came down slowly.

"Sir, it looks like Master Jason has taken a joy ride"

Bruce shook his head, putting down his paper, "of course he did."

* * *

"That'll be 7.99$ sir"

Jason handed the cashier the money and grabbed the pack of cigarettes, walking out of the dinky liquor store. Jason had stolen one of Bruce's motorcycles, he doubted the old man had ever road the metal beast. After all most of Bruce's riches were for show. Jason went behind the store to an alley and sat behind a wall and lit one of his riches. He felt the smoke go down his throat. He closed his eyes and let the smoke out of his lungs, let the stress out of his body. He finished the cigarette and then lit another one. God he had needed this. The last few days had been overwhelming to say the least.

Crying last night in Bruce's arms was well...awkward. He could count on one hand the times he and Bruce had shared physical contact. But it was nice as well... he was so confused. Hadn't he hated Bruce just days earlier? After all he had shot at Bruce. And he was still irritated, because of Bruce's moral code, Joker was just sitting in his little Arkham cell just waiting to escape and cause havoc once again. He understood why though, it just wasn't fair. That son of a bitch took him away from Bruce. That son of a bitch ruined everything. Jason took another puff of the cig. He wondered if Bruce was looking for him.

* * *

The doorbell of Wayne Manor rung, Alfred walked down the old staircase and answered it.

"Hey Alfred"

"Master Dick...what are you doing here?"

Dick Grayson smiled at the old man; he was wearing a simple blue and black leather jacket and some jeans.

"Why I just couldn't keep away from Bruce, the love of my life."

Alfred stared at the man.

"You have no sense of humor Alfred you know that?" Dick said, passing the butler and walking into the man hall. Alfred closed the door.

"No, I need some help in Blüdhaven , is he here right now Alfred ?"

"I'm afraid Master Wayne is out and about right now sir, your welcome to wait here though."

"What, is he fighting crime in the daylight now too?" Dick snickered.

Alfred smiled meekly, "not quite".

Dick looked confused.

"I think it's time we had a talk Master Richard"

* * *

Jason was still in the alley way smoking, torn whether or not to return to the castle.

"I'm honestly surprised you don't have lung cancer by now boy"

Jason smiled, he didn't even have to turn around, and that gruff voice was universally known to him.

"How'd you find me Bruce?

"They don't call me the world's greatest detective for nothing."

"And who calls you that again?"

He turned to see Bruce smirk. "Whoa I guess there's a first time for everything", Jason thought .

"Why'd you sneak off Jay? You missed Alfred's fantastic breakfast."

"Now that is something I do regret missing", Jason said honestly. He had forgotten how good the butler's food was.

"You know Bruce I'm starting to feel better, I think I'm going to be leaving tonight", he lied. His body still felt like hell but he just couldn't stay, it just felt strange.

"Young man, that's a damn lie and you know it, I'm surprised you didn't reopen any wounds riding that bike"

Jason rolled his eyes at Bruce calling him young man.

"Now come on Jason, I know you have to be hungry."

Jason couldn't argue with that statement.

"Alright Mr. Wayne, I'll stay for some grumb."

* * *

Bruce parked the Lamborghini and saw Jason parking the Harley bike in the garage.

"I have to admit Brucie , I've missed Alfred's food more than anything"

Bruce shook his head at "brucie" and bonked Jason in the head and opened the door.

He was met with a fist to the jaw.


	7. Chapter 6 DICK

Dick slammed his fist into Bruce's jaw, slamming Bruce to the floor.

"How dare you not tell me he was back, HOW DARE YOU", Dick yelled.

Jason was shocked, "Dick what are you doing?"

Dick caught his first sight of the boy in five years and stumbled back, Jason had changed, and his hair was longer, he was taller, more muscular, but still has those same green eyes.

Dick ran to Jason, pulling him in the tightest hug. Tears were forming in Dick's eyes. Jason just stood there.

"Uh it's nice to see you too Dick"

"I thought we'd lost you Jay." he stumbled the words out of his mouth

Jason slowly removed himself out of Dick's airtight hug. Dick turned his attention back to Bruce and sadness and happiness turned to anger.

"I only knew he was alive for a week Dick"

"So its bullshit Bruce, knowing you, you would have never told me"

"Now that's not true Dick, I was going to tell you"

"I'm outta here", Jason turned to the door opening it.

"Jason, look I'm sorry don't leave", Dick pleaded.

"No, I can't deal with this entire family bullshit drama okay, I'm gathering my things and leaving", Jason started his treck upstairs.

"Jason you are doing no such thing, you're injuries haven't even began to fully start healing." Bruce started up the stairs after him.

"Try and stop me Wayne."

Jason reached the top of the stairs and was stopped by Alfred.

"Young man there is certainly no way you are leaving this household without having something to eat"

* * *

Jason scarfed down the food like he haven't eaten in weeks.

Dick sat across from him; Bruce had gone down to the Batcave.

Dick had been wondering how to start a certain conversation with Jason, any way he started it, it was going to be awkward.

"Is it true Jason?"

Jason put down the food.

"Is what true?"

"You've been killing people haven't you Jay."

Jason practically sneered at Dick, "THAT'S NONE of your BUSINESS"

"Yes it is my business okay! You're a part of this family and when I hear my dear friend; my brother is killing people for the name of justice-"

Jason started laughing when Dick said he was a part of this family.

"Cut the bullshit Dick, this is no family, how can you call this a family when you practically hate Bruce."

"Bruce and I may have our conflicting issues but he's the closest thing I've had as a father Jason and I love him no matter what."

"Why do you think killing criminals is the way to justice Jason?"

"Let's look at the shining example shall we , let's look at the man who killed me , who's still in Arkham , who always breaks out, who always kills and creates havoc , when he should of been put down like a sick dog years ago. Some criminals are beyond rehabilitation Dick; they need to be squashed out."

"Everyone is capable of being rehabilitated Jason...even you"

Jason slammed his fist down on the dining table"

"Oh, there's something wrong with me Dick? I'm not up to your and Bruce's standards?"

Dick instantly regretted what he said

"I didn't mean it like that-"

"Bullshit, it's exactly what you meant Dick."

"Jason ... What happened to the fifteen year old I knew?"

"HE'S DEAD OKAY! HE ISN'T GOING TO COME BACK DICK, SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU!"

Jason walked out of the room, Dick put his hand on Jason's shoulder, Jason grabbed Dick's arm and threw him over his body. Dick landed in a heap on the floor.

"Bruce and I want to help-"

"NO ONE CAN HELP ME DICK OKAY! LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE"

Jason ran upstairs, grabbed his things, grabbed the motorbike keys and rushed down the stairs.

Dick was sitting against a wall.

"Before you walk out of that door Jay know this, no matter what choices you make, no matter what you do, I will always love you kid."

Jason stood there, fighting the tears in his eyes.

"DONT LIE TO ME DICK!"

He turned and exited the Bruce Wayne castle.

* * *

"Why'd you let him leave Dick?"

"Bruce, I wasn't going to force him to stay here."

"Dick we need to find him as soon as possible."

Dick rolled his eyes, "He'll be fine Bruce."

"No, Dick you don't understand. I had Gotham News on the Tv...THE JOKER HAS ESCAPED ARKHAM."


	8. Chapter 7 LET'S PUT A SMILE ON THAT FACE

The Joker had taken hostage of Gotham General. The police had no chance of getting patients out of the hospital. The Joker had gone in disguised as a nurse and taken control before the Gotham Police could get involved and rescue people.

* * *

Jason just sat in the empty diner just taking it in, taking it all in. The man who killed him, broke him, ripped his life apart was free, ready to be savagely and rightfully killed. Jason smiled, he had work to do. He threw some change on the diner table and left.

* * *

The Joker had created mayhem in Gotham; all Gotham police were making sure other hospitals in the Gotham area were not rigged. The Joker had contacted a Gotham radio station and was currently ranting on air, about his master plan and scheme.

Trust me, the radio station would of loved to hang up on the crazed clown, sadly they couldn't. No the clown said he would blow up the building if they hung up.

''Hanging up is just not polite now kids", before wailing his signature crazed laugh. The Joker's crazed rant had gone on for about half an hour already, the police were busy formulating ways to get inside the building. They knew they couldn't bribe Joker.

The Joker was on the top floor of Gotham General. He had enough explosives to level the building. Jack Napier was simply waiting around for The Bat to arrive. He couldn't wait to be reunited with his favorite friend.

He would have to think about that later because out of nowhere Jason Todd slammed threw one of the glass windows on the top floor of the hospital. Jason unhooked the grappling hook off his belt.

Joker looked at Jason stunned, and then started laughing, screaming practically.

"I gotta give it you kiddo, you just won't stay dead."

Jason smiled.

Joker sneered, "Let's see if we can change that".

"Joker, I'm not here about the big boom that's about to go off, I just wanna finish what we started the other night."

"Aww, but birdboy, I was looking so forward to the big boom that was about to go off."

The Joker had his hand over the bomb trigger; Jason wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp so bad. He could care less if him and Joker went up in flames, but the innocent people in the building. He couldn't let them die with him and the crazed clown. Jason had to have his fun with Joker before Bruce arrived.

"What can I say, Ronald MacDonald, sorry to disappoint."

With that statement, Jason threw a smoke bomb at the Joker, the bomb exploded in the clown's face , Jason seized the opportunity and lunged towards the clown, kicked the trigger out of his hand and threw him on the ground and started beating him in the face, over and over and over. The Joker laughed as Jason kept beating Jack in the face. Jason started screaming in rage punching harder and harder. Letting all the pain and anguish out. with each punch, Jason felt better and better.

Jason didn't even notice the smash of glass, as Nightwing and Batman entered the madness.

"JASON STOP!"

He was brought back to his senses by Batman, he looked down at Joker, a few teeth were missing and his face bloody and bruised, almost a pulp. But still alive, not good enough for him. Jason grabbed Joker and the two stood up, he faced Bruce and Dick.

"I told you this would happen Batman, I told you he would escape again, I told you he would maim and kill and destroy, but you didn't listen, you never listened." Jason was yelling. He wished Bruce understood the pain he had been feeling for 5 years and how this would solve everything. The Joker spat a mouthful of blood on the floor and grinned.

"Gotta give it to the kid bat, he just doesn't quit, he's a fighter, I like that."

Batman ignored Joker, "Jason, killing Joker won't take the pain away, and it won't make things easier, if you kill him, you're no better than the scum you're putting down."

"But it's not fair! It's not fair that he'll be put back in the looney bin and escape again and again and again. There's no end to it."

Dick finally spoke, "Jason we can't decide who lives and who dies, we stop the madmen, but we can't decide their fate, that's not our job."

"How can you two sleep at night knowing if you put this sick dog down years ago, that hundreds of people's lives wouldn't have been ended?"

Joker grinned, "such a good question."

"Jason, you have to understand the turmoil and sleepless nights I've gone through thinking about that, but like I said, if I ended that scum you hold in your hands right now, I wouldn't be any better than he is. I would stop being a hero, I'd become a decider of life, I'd be deciding who lived and who died. That isn't my job, nor do I want it to be.

Jason looked at Dick and Bruce, he could tell they were pleading he just let the sick fuck he held in his hands go. He wanted to, he really wanted to. Jason took a deep breath. This was going to take all the mental willpower he had in him. He slammed Joker against a wall and pulled out a gun and aimed it at the two masked heroes. He turned his head towards Joker.

"I don't have to kill you, but I don't have to let you go unharmed either." Jason turned the gun back on the crazed clown and shot Joker in the knee caps, twice in each knee, shattering both. The Joker went down blood splattered all over the virgin white floor. He screamed and laughed and wailed. Jason stumbled away and threw the gun at Bruce.

"Take him away before I change my fucking mind."

Batman threw the gun to Dick and apprehended the clown. Jason fell to the ground against one of the bleached white walls of the hospital. He ripped off the redhood mask. He realized he was shaking. Batman grabbed Joker and slung him over his back and shot out of the window. Nightwing walked over to him and put his arm around Jason's shoulder. Jason felt the first few tears hit the red mask in his lap. And the rest came like clockwork. Dick pulled Jason into a hug and comforted his brother. Jason's whole body shock, Dick just kept rubbing Jason's back.

"It's gonna be okay Jay, it's going to be all okay."

The way Dick said it, Jason could actually have believed it. He looked up at Dick.

Dick smiled weakly,"Come on Jason, let's go home."

Home.

For the first time in years, Jason really had a home.

* * *

**I think a chapter or two more, and then i'll be done with this story. Maybe i'll have a oneshot or two concerning Jason in the near future. Anyway i appreciate all the positive feedback :)**


	9. Chapter 8 WAYNE MANOR

Jason had gone straight to his room when Dick and he returned to the manor. Batman hadn't returned yet. Jason climbed into the bed in full Kevlar armor and tried to get some sleep. But even though his body was sore and aching, he couldn't. His mind was racing with the events that happened hours ago.

He sighed and got up, going downstairs to the kitchen. Dick had gone to bed, and Alfred was probably cleaning or sleeping, he really didn't know. Jason searched the kitchen for a while, and finally found it. Sweet sweet, bitter liquor. He poured himself a nice small glass of whiskey. He relaxed against the kitchen chair, and let the warm stinging liquid flow down his throat, and warm his entire body. He poured himself another glass, and then another. Jason loved liquor, it made the hard times easier. It made him momentarily forget all the madness in the world. For a few moments it made Jason feel at peace.

* * *

Jason was pouring his sixth glass of whiskey when he heard Bruce enter from the dining room. Jason heard the familiar three notes on the piano and heard the slam of the door to the hidden staircase. Bruce must've heard the pouring of liquor and clatter of glass against glass, because Bruce entered the kitchen and turned on the lights. He found Jason sitting at the kitchen table, drinking. Bruce said nothing, and opened a cabinet, grabbed a glass, and sat next to Jason. He motioned to the glass and Jason gave it to him. Bruce poured himself a glass, and handed the bottle back to Jason. The two just sat in the kitchen. Bruce finally spoke up.

"I'm proud of you Jay, you didn't kill him, and I know you desperately wanted to."

Jason turned and looked at Bruce, rolling his eyes at the nickname, "it took every ounce of willpower I had, and I don't even know why I listened to you or Dick."

"Because deep down Jason, you knew it wasn't the right thing to do."

Jason stared at Bruce, his surrogate father, the only real father he'd ever had in his pathetic excuse for a life. He thought awhile, and that wasn't it at all. He didn't kill Joker because it was the right thing to do. He refused to end the pathetic clown's life because he didn't want to disappoint his father again. He just stared at the half empty glass of whiskey in front of him.

"Bruce, I didn't kill that pathetic excuse for a life because it was right."

Bruce continued to stare down Jason; the liquor started doing its work, and Jason starting spewing out.

"I didn't kill Joker, because I didn't want to disappoint you again."

"Again Jason? You haven't disappointed me."

"Bullshit Bruce, I came back from the dead and started killing people in the name of justice, I'm pretty sure I'm worth shit to you. I don't understand why you are so goddamn nice to me. I keep disappointing you and I never live up to your expectations. I do not understand why you give me so many chances; you could have let me die the other night on the street. You could have walked away like you walked away when I handed you the gun to finish Joker."

Bruce wasn't surprised at the sudden outburst, Bruce knew the boy wasn't emotionally stable like he was, and the alcohol probably didn't help. Jason continued and he started yelling.

"I DO NOT NOR WILL I EVER UNDERSTAND, WHY YOU CARE SO MUCH FOR ME, I THINK YOU LIKE TO SEE HOW MUCH I'VE SCREWED UP MY PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A LIFE. I THINK YOU JUST FUCKING LOVE TO SEE ME SCREW UP MORE AND MORE EACH DAY. I'M SORRY BRUCE. I'M SO SORRY FOR LETTING YOU DOWN, FOR LETTING MYSELF DOWN. BUT I CAN'T HELP IT; THIS IS WHO I AM NOW. THERE'S NO GOING BACK AND I'M SCREWED. YOU SHOULD END MY LIFE RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE I'M ALREADY DEAD. I'M SO SORRY DAD."

Jason was crying by the end of his little "speech", Bruce had a swell of emotions when he heard Jay utter those words he had so hoped to hear come out of Jason's mouth for so long. "Dad", Bruce always knew Jason looked up to him as a father, and it was no secret that Bruce always thought of Jason as his son.

Bruce grabbed Jason by his neck and pulled him into his chest, and let the young man sob. Jason clutched onto Bruce's shirt. Jason kept repeating "sorry" over and over again. The boy was obviously intoxicated. Bruce rubbed his back.  
"It's okay Jason, it's my fault. All of this is. I didn't get to you in time. I didn't save you from him. I should have. All of this is because of me and I'm sorry. But you made me so proud tonight. You did the right thing whether you realize it or not. We don't chose who lives and who dies. That's not up to us.

Jason held onto Bruce, whether he wanted to admit it or not, he needed the son of a bitch in this life. There was honestly no one else who cared nor who could put up with his bullshit.

"I don't blame you at all, even Batman makes mistakes, and I forgive you for not saving me."

Bruce held onto Jason tighter, he was never going to let him out of his sight; he was going to help the boy to the best of his ability.

* * *

The next morning Bruce woke up after carrying Jason to bed. He didn't want the boy trying to climb up the staircase drunk. It was almost noon. Dick had stayed in the guest room. Bruce went to Jason's room, and was unsurprised to find it empty. The billionaire sighed. He went into the room and saw a note left on the bed.

_**Bruce,**_

_**Don't try to look for me.**_

_**I'll be fine, and I appreciate everything you've done for me the past few days.**_

_**I need to figure out my life, and only I can do that.**_

_**I need some time to myself.**_

_**Tell Dick I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye**_

_**Hopefully I see you again someday soon.**_

_**-Jason Todd Wayne**_

* * *

Sounds like a decent ending right ? well i'm going to post one final chapter that has a more solid ending. I've enjoyed diving into the Batman universe and I've loved messing with and creating my own interpretation of Jason Todd. Thanks so much for the reviews and feedback, i truly appreciate it.


	10. Chapter 9 END

Batman busted through the window of the warehouse near Gotham Harbor. Black Mask spun around & wasted no time in firing off his gun at the Dark Knight. Batman lunged at Black Mask and knocked the gun out of his hand and gave a good old upper cut to the Masked Villain. Batman tied up the criminal drug lord. He could hear the police sirens in the distance. He climbed to the roof of the warehouse but not before falling over in pain. Batman checked his body and found that he had been shot in the lower abdomen. God, how could he have been so stupid. He had to get to the batmobile. Bruce slowly got up off the ground of the roof of the building and slowly made his way to the other side, but failed and fell on the ground. He was bleeding, very badly. Batman tried to pull out his communicator, but everything was becoming blurry. He was going into unconsciousness. Bruce heard someone landing on the roof; he pulled out a batarang from his belt, prepared for anything.

"Oh, this is rich, the mighty Batman stopped by a bullet. You know I think it's about time you retire."

Bruce knew that voice all too well, he tried to turn his body to see the person, but the pain was unbearable. Bruce grunted in pain, trying not to create too much noise.

Jason ran to Bruce, assessing his injury.

"Shit, this is worse than I thought."

Bruce was going into unconsciousness; Jason slapped Bruce in the face.

"Come on big guy, you gotta stay awake okay?"

"Don't call me that", Bruce gritted.

Jason grabbed ahold of Bruce, and lifted him up off the ground.

"Where'd you park?"

"Across the street."

Jason lugged The Bat across the roof. He fired the grappling hook and swung to the ground.

Jason dragged Bruce across the street to an alley where Jason saw the familiar car. Bruce unlocked the car and weakly gave Jason the keys.

"Gonna let me finally drive huh?''

Bruce didn't respond. Shit, he's unconscious. Jason dragged Bruce to the car and put him in the passenger seat and then got in the car and started it. He raced out of the alley, and made his way to the batcave, speeding down the Gotham highway.

* * *

Jason finally reached the Batcave, and quickly pulled Bruce out of the car.

"Alfred!" Jason screamed, he needed the butler. Alfred rushed down the stairs as fast as he could; Jason had put Bruce on the medical table and removed the cowl.

"What happened?"

"He got shot in the lower abdomen."

"Get the medical supplies."

Jason went to the cabinets and grabbed the huge medical kit, and carried it over to Alfred.

"Good, now leave Master Jason, I need to concentrate"

Jason didn't even try to argue with the old man. He excited the batcave, as Alfred began sterilizing Bruce's wound.

* * *

Alfred came up out of the batcave roughly an hour later; Jason was pacing the living room. Alfred walked over to the young man.

"I've successfully removed the bullet, but he lost a good amount of blood. He's stable though.

"Can I see him?"

"He's sleeping right now Master Jason."

"Can I see him?"

Alfred nodded. "Don't disturb him though, he needs his rest."

Jason walked into the cave, and saw Bruce resting on the medical table, there was gauze covering his fresh bullet wound. Jason walked over to the case, his case. He wondered why Bruce hadn't taken this down in light of recent events.

"Oh Bruce, why do you still keep this up?"

"A daily reminder of my greatest failure."

Jason turned around and saw Bruce awake, still lying on the medical table.

"I never did thank you for saving me back there."

"Don't Bruce, it doesn't suit you."

"Why are you back in Gotham Jason?"

Jason honestly thought about that question, it had been a few months since he had left the Wayne residence.

"I guess I just wanted to see family."

Jason looked at Bruce to see his response. Bruce smiled weakly.

"You are staying for long? Alfred can prepare your room for you."

"That'd be nice, but I'm only staying for a few days, I heard about Black Mask starting up another drug cartel, you beat me to stopping it though."

"What have you been up to? I haven't heard from you in a few months."

"I've just been traveling; I needed some time to think about what I want to do with my life."

Bruce stared at the boy, "You find what you were looking for?"

Jason smiled weakly, "More or less."

"Good. Well like I said Alfred can prepare your room for you. He can always prepare your room, you're always welcome here Jason."

Jason smiled at that comment; it was good to know he had a place to go if he needed.

Jason smiled and started to walk out of the cave.

"Well see you around Bruce; you should really take that case down."

Jason left the cave, Bruce smiled.

He was never going to take that damn case down.


End file.
